There is so much in my life I have no control over. I've been told control is just an illusion but I've always had a sense of direction disguised as control. It's took me so long in my life to know what i want and waiting for God's timing is so hard.
But it perplexes me how the person that can make me feel complete and the happiest I've ever been in life can also be the one that make me miserable and disappointed. I thought I finally found the person who loves me like I love him. When I'm with him I believe it but he doesn't act like it when I'm not there. I just don't understand. I can't picture my future without him but when will that future start? I sacrifice so much to have him and I question what sacrifices he makes. I try so hard and I just wish he would instead of taking me and my loyalty for granted.
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